A few years ago, I decided to quit social media. The constant noise, endless scrolling, and superficial connections left me feeling drained and disconnected. Since then, I’ve found a new way to meet people thanks to an app with a unique approach to fostering relationships.
Why I Use Slowly to Make New Friends
We’ve come to expect instant messaging as the standard for all social networking apps, but Slowly takes a very different approach. The app is designed to bring back the art of letter writing in the digital age by deliberately delaying messages to simulate the old-school experience of sending and receiving handwritten letters.
What makes it special is that the time delay isn’t arbitrary; it’s based on your geographical location. That means the time a letter takes to be delivered depends on the distance between you and your pen pal, mimicking a postal service.
I’ve been using the Slowly app for over a year now, and it has become my preferred way of meeting new people online thanks to a few standout features.
Download: Slowly for Android | iOS (Free, in-app purchases available)
It Fits Into My Busy Lifestyle
Unlike most social media apps, Slowly doesn’t have a Feed or an Explore page where you browse new content. That means there’s no incentive to waste your time on the app.
Also, because letters take time to be delivered, you can carry on with your day without the constant need to check if you’ve received a new message.
No Read Receipts Means You Can Reply at Your Pace
Slowly also doesn’t have read receipts, so you and your pen pal can’t know if you’ve read each other’s letters yet. That way, no one feels pressured to respond before they are ready, and it encourages people to be patient.
When people are free to respond at their own pace, their replies are generally longer, more thoughtful, and contain stories or opinions that can be used to continue the conversation. This ensures no single person feels like they are “carrying” the conversation.
Consent-Based Photo and Audio Sharing
The app also allows sending photos and audio files, but only when both parties accept the request.
This content-based media sharing means you’ll only ever be able to share images or audio recordings with people you trust and have built a rapport with.
Writing Letters Facilitates Deeper Conversation
In my experience, because a letter can take a significant amount of time to deliver, people tend to put more effort into drafting their message since they want to make each one count.
After all, no one wants to wait for hours at a time for a sloppy letter.
There’s also an option to set a letter length preference, so you can signal potential pen pals whether you like receiving short, medium, or long letters.
Connection Based on Common Interests, Not Appearance
Slowly does not ask you to set a profile picture, either. It only asks for a bio, an avatar, and your interests. That way, people have an incentive to connect with you based on common interests and your personality—not your appearance.
Discover People via Open Letters, Auto-Match, or Suggestions
The app has a variety of tools to help you meet new people. You can publish open letters introducing yourself. These are publicly visible, and anyone can respond to them.
Auto-match allows you to compose letters without prior knowledge of the recipient’s identity. The app then matches you with up to three profiles it thinks align with yours.
You can also browse through profiles manually based on set criteria.
To be clear, people still get ghosted on Slowly and not every interaction is meaningful. However, I’m willing to argue that you’re far more likely to make genuine friends here than on social media. Letter writing isn’t everyone’s thing, but if you enjoy the art of it, you should definitely try Slowly.
